


Tourist Season, Shoot Them At Will

by kennagirl



Series: The Opposite of What We Planned [7]
Category: Glee, Ten Inch Hero
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, M/M, Meet the Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-14
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-15 22:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kennagirl/pseuds/kennagirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>July 2020: There’s blood family, there’s chosen family, and there’s family that drops in without calling first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tourist Season, Shoot Them At Will

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 7 of Kurtbastian Week. AU/crossovers.

“Sebby!”

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the voice on the phone.  “What is it, Tish?”

The laughter that rang down the line made it obvious that she knew how much it pissed him off.  “Well my dear cousin, my friend Piper’s daughter is looking into her masters for art at Columbia.  So instead of making her take vacation time, Trucker decided to shut down the shop for a week and have everyone come to New York.”

“Wait, you’re in the city?”

“Yeah, you still live in that building where I sent your last Christmas card?”

“Same apartment for two years.”  Now he was suspicious.  “Why?”

She giggled.  “You’ll see.”

“Dammit Tish, just tell me—”  But she had hung up.  He stared at the cell phone and wondered what she was up to now.

Then came the knock at the door.  “I got it,” Kurt yelled from the living room.  Sebastian tried to run out to warn him, but the door was already opening and a man with a bright purple mohawk and a t-shirt proclaiming a belief in Bigfoot was dropping a duffle bag and throwing his arms around Kurt.

“Dude!”  The guy was excited, but Kurt was shell-shocked, arms frozen at his sides.  Sebastian couldn’t help himself, he started laughing at the sight before him.

He let go, allowing Tish to sidestep him and get inside.  She looked from Kurt to Sebastian further back, then smacked the unique man in the back of the head.  “Priestly, that’s not Sebastian, that’s his husband.”

“Well if you’d let me come to the wedding, I’d know that.”

“You had the flu.  You told me to go and let Zo give you ten million herbal remedies.”

“Semantics.”

Sebastian looked between the two, then hurried forward to hug his cousin.  “Fuck, I’ve missed you Tish.”

She wrapped him up and squeezed.  “Missed you too, Sebby.”

“Watch it, Tish.”

They separated and the woman grabbed mohawk’s hand.  “Guys, this is Priestly.  Priestly, this is Sebastian,” she pointed to him, and then to Kurt, “and that’s his husband Kurt.”

Priestly stuck out his hand.  “Nice to meet you.”

Kurt eyed him skeptically, but seemed to think he was mostly harmless.  “Nice to meet you too.”  Then his eyes darted up to the rather tall hair.  “Interesting hair.”

“Thanks, man.”  Priestly smiled widely, his lip ring glinting in the lamplight.  “I do it myself.  Change the color every week or so.”

“And it hasn’t all fallen out yet?”

Tish giggled at the stricken look on Priestly’s face.  “Dude, don’t even joke,” he said.  “Not cool on any level.”

Kurt wrapped an arm around Sebastian’s waist and asked, “So, what are you two doing here?”

“Julia wanted to check Columbia for grad school,” Priestly explained, “so Piper wanted time off for her and Noah come with.  Trucker just closed the shop and called it a family vacation.”

“Excuse me, Trucker?”

“He’s our boss,” Tish said.  “He and his wife Zo are probably wandering through Central Park holding hands right about now.  Jen said something about her and Fuzzy taking their daughter to the Statue of Liberty and Julia is touring campus with her parents.”

“And you all work together?”

“Zo’s in her shop across the street and Noah and Fuzzy just married in and show up a lot.  But yeah.  We’re all one big dysfunctional family.”

“Has one of the men gotten his best friend’s girlfriend pregnant?”

“Um…” Tish exchanged a confused glance with Priestly.  He shrugged.  “No.”

“Then you can’t even touch dysfunctional.”  Sebastian burst out laughing.  New Directions was seven different levels of dysfunctional compared to the tales he’s heard from the sandwich shop.  “In my high school glee club, that was just the first drama we encountered.”

“The first one?”  Priestly was interested.  He dragged Kurt to the couch, settling in for a good story.  “Was it like a soap opera?  Lying, cheating, and backstabbing?  Did someone have an evil twin?”  His eyes lit up.  “Please tell me someone had an evil twin.”

“We’re still looking for Santana’s good twin,” Kurt quipped.  “Although Brittany did have a theory about Blaine and Rachel…”

Sebastian smiled at the two of them, then turned to Tish.  “You wanna crash here?  We have the spare bedroom.”

She kicked the duffle bag.  “I was hoping you’d say that.”  He rolled his eyes and hoisted it onto his shoulder, leading her down the hall.  “We sure know how to pick the good ones, don’t we cuz?”

“Yeah, we do.”  He opened the door and glanced around, thankful that Kurt’s dedication to cleaning meant the room was actually in good shape.  “Here you go.”  He dropped the bag on the bed and left the room.

“Thanks Sebby.”

“Bite me Platicia.”


End file.
